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"The mark of a really great writer is that he or she gives expression to what the masses of mankind think or feel without knowing it. The mediocre writer simply writes what everyone would have said."
-G.C. Lichtenberg


The King of Ketchum

    There's a throne nearby, covered in pine needles, a few rocks and the everyday detritus of the natural world.
    It belongs to no one in particular, and it belongs to anyone who cares to hike about 1,000 feet above the valley floor.
     It was typical April in the Northern Rockies, and I climbed through misty woods and afternoon drizzle to discover the perch already occupied by a peculiar little man with his head held high, gazing east across $3 billion in real estate that was spread beneath his pronged feet.
    He hid behind a tree at first, but then peeked out with bashful eyes. It didn't take long before he emerged in the open air and refocused himself on the task at hand.
     As the rain waned, he bore the focus of ancient, instinctive determination – his tail feathers spread like a Japanese fan, his body dancing in lustful, uniquely avian ways.
    He waddled through the brush and down a sage strewn slope to where the ridge is a ridge no more. He stood there at the edge of a cliff with the Kingdom of Ketchum spread out before him. There he called to the dominion below for a queen with which to share his scenic royal roost.
    The horny little dude blew on his air sac in the hope that he might be seen, or might be heard. The red spot on his neck swelled and shrank in rhythmic patterns.
    Perhaps another grouse heard him, but all my ears detected were the muffled sounds of traffic and the timbre of the bustling kingdom below. It was white noise rising up to drown the king's ancient, instinctive whims.
    Even 1,000 feet was not enough.
    And so, the throne occupied, I retreated into the woods below where silence reigned and the rain resumed. I plodded steadily downward into the woods and pondered that my visit with the king was not my first.
    My brushes with the area's royalty give me strength in everyday life. They are empowering encounters that remind me why I live where the wilds creep close to the domesticated furrows of man. When the going gets tough, I make a pilgrimage to one of the area's thrones.
    Long live the king.